Just Another Chapter Meeting

As is often the case in February, my flight out of Indianapolis that day was delayed by weather.

I didn't mind waiting. In fact, I was hoping that the flight would be cancelled for the day. Then I would have an excuse for not visiting a chapter in another part of the country. This was an add-on visit--an afterthought. I was scheduled to speak at a university in that same area on the following day. The chapter at that university had notified other chapters in the state of my visit and invited them to attend the presentation. The president of the first chapter--the visit I had reluctantly scheduled for that evening--had called me personally and asked if I could, "Stop by on the way"

"We're having a meeting that night", he told me "and it would mean a lot to us if you could come by and sit in"

That conversation had occurred in mid-January. Now, as I waited for my flight, I reflected on my decision. It would be the second time I visited that campus and chapter that academic year. The first visit had occurred under far less positive circumstances.

For a number of years, the chapter in question had been big, bold, strong and cocky. While it had never been a positive force for us on campus or otherwise--members tended to emphasize intramural sports and social standing as their strengths--there had always been a sufficient number of Gamma Gammas--Good Guys--to lead and guide the chapter while compensating for the occasional slipups.

The concerns began to surface three years before, about the time that I became the CEO. There were the usual suspects--poor administrative practices that led to a large and ever-increasing debt involving new member and initiation fees, angry letters from alumni disgusted by the behavior of members toward them or the condition of the chapter house, or both, persistent risk management concerns, blowout parties that led to complaints by neighbors, an incident at Greek Week, fights during intramural games, and poor grades.

And, our Fraternity had changed as well. Over the course of several years we adopted a comprehensive risk management program, joined FIPG (Fraternal Information and Programming Group), and developed an accountability process for chapters.

Although the chapter was clearly on our risk management radar at the beginning of the fall semester the members seemed oblivious to that fact. Then, in one week in late September, the chapter engaged in two confirmed acts of hazing; then the squirting of water pistols in the faces of several people including a visiting professor by members after asking them for directions while they were in a car (forgetting, of course, that cars have license plates that can be traced); and an ugly incident at a party that weekend. As sometimes happens, the chapter had poised on the brink of disaster and then plunged to the bottom of the behavioral pool.

When the shoes finally stopped dropping, it was clear that a membership review (M/R)--we called it a reorganization in those days--would be mandated by our Risk Management and Standards Committee, and that quickly occurred.

Under our protocol at the time a M/R required the suspension of all members and new members, followed by interviews conducted primarily by staff members to determine which undergraduates would be invited to rejoin the chapter and which undergraduates would be continued on suspended status until graduation. New Members could of course rescind their decision to join the chapter. The interviews were not required if you did not want to continue as a member of chapter--in fact, that was a subtle aspect of the process--that self-selection would remove a number of members even before the interview process began.

Membership Reviews are time-consuming, difficult, emotionally draining and exhausting for all. Anger, suspicion, guilt, resentment, hostility and a sense of betrayal all make their appearance. But, then and now, M/Rs are a necessary part of fraternity life.

M/Rs are the medical equivalent of major surgery to remove a large and malignant tumor. For us, the tumor was a group of "Sluggo Brothers"--a term coined by a staff member that harkened back to the scruffy-looking guy wearing a striped shirt and wise guy hat from the cartoon series, "Nancy". The Sluggos were the negative, non-bill paying, non-meeting attending, disrespectful, whining, complaining, sports and social emphasizing, pro-hazing, non-Ritual understanding jerks. Every chapter has some Sluggos. But when the Sluggo group becomes too large and begins to replace the standards, values and ideals of the Fraternity with their own, problems will quickly follow.

I led the M/R team, in part because I was onboarding two new staff directors and neither had participated in a Review.

My memories are very clear of that early October day when we arrived on campus. We held a meeting at the chapter house to explain the process. An older member summed up the chapter perfectly when he rose and said, "This is the biggest turnout of brothers I've ever seen that didn't involve liquor" Some of the Sluggos yelled and cursed at us as we described the process. Several alumni showed up, well-intentioned but painfully naive, to insist that each member deserved to remain in the chapter regardless of his record, reputation or judicial record with the University. "Everyone deserves a second chance" was their response. When we explained that some of the members were on their fifth or sixth chance, the alumni resorted to blaming themselves--"It's not their fault--we haven't been as involved as we should have been"

"Err on the side of caution" is the catchphrase for a M/R.

"We don't conduct a M/R twice on the same chapter", I told the alumni. "We do our very best to identify only those who will commit to a new Theta Chi. We've only got one chance to get it right"

Most of the Sluggos made it easy for us. They didn't sign up for an interview, accepting the automatic continuation of suspended status. Others signed up but failed to appear. Still others showed up for interviews wearing tattered game jerseys and jeans, chewing tobacco, radiating hostility towards us.

We cut deep. Of the 110 men in the chapter, give or take, less than two-thirds chose to interview. Of those, ten men were invited to rejoin. Two of the ten immediately declined their invitations to continue and accepted suspended status. "Too much work", they told us.

Eight young members then gathered to meet with us in the Student Union to start the new chapter. We left a day later, thinking that the eight men would not last until Thanksgiving.

But, they did. The reports continued to come in, from consultants, from the Fraternity/Sorority Advisor, from the newly elected alumni corporation officers. "They're hanging in there" was the consistent message.

And so, nearly five months later, I was on my way to meet with the survivors. The voice in my head--the stentorian, Dean of Students voice that usually surfaced as I officiated high school football games or made key decisions about chapters--was at it again. "You'll gain nothing from this visit" the voice said. "All they'll do is complain...you'll discover things you don't want to know...you don't have to make this visit...let others carry the load"

An alumnus met me at the airport and drove me to the chapter house on campus. With the delays, it was nearly 7:00 p.m. when we arrived. "We're fixin' to start the meeting, Dave" the president said after greeting me in modest foyer. "C'mon in" I did.

The last time I had been in the meeting room was for the pre-M/R meeting in October. Then, the three tiers of seats facing the executive council table had been filled to capacity and other members had been sitting or standing two-deep around the room.

Now, as I entered, I saw three officers seated at the front table. Four other undergraduates were seated in chairs across from the table. I greeted them. I learned that after the chapter meeting opened in form, two other men would join us--they were prospective new members. The eighth member was taking a test and would join us during the meeting.

Two alumnus members--I remembered one from the interview process--sat with the undergraduates. They were dressed in suits and ties, having come directly from their respective jobs. With the alumnus who kindly met me at the airport and me, there were eleven of us.

That was it. Eleven men in a room built to accommodate seventy.

The president apologized for the chill in the room. "We're trying to save money by not using this part of the house", he explained. Someone switched off the lights. The secretary carefully lit several candles which were placed on the front table.

The president took his seat.

With a solemn earnest air of authority that made me suppress a smile, he announced that the 962nd meeting of ____chapter would begin. He recited words and phrases which had been recited countless times by countless other young men in hundreds of darkened meeting rooms over the course of many, many years. He had taken the time to memorize some of the phrases and he looked at us as he spoke.

The Roll was taken. Then, each officer and committee chairman offered a brief verbal report and then handed a written report to the secretary for inclusion in the chapter notebook. The secretary carefully took notes, his pen making scratching sounds in the darkness.

The treasurer shuffled his papers and noted that all members were paid up in full. One of the alumnus members coughed loudly, feigning shock and surprise. The treasurer looked up and smiled shyly. "Things have changed"

The meeting was then declared open in form and the two prospective new members were invited to join us, which they did.

I watched the secretary carefully. He had been on the bubble with us during the interviews the previous fall. He had a drinking problem, some of the members had reported. He was fine until he had a few drinks--then he became someone else--"An evil twin brother", one of the officers had told us.

I didn't interview him. It was and is my commitment that I will never overrule a staff member or other person who interviewed a member or new member as to their decision. They were in the room. I wasn't. But we reviewed all decisions as a group, and we debated about the young man who was now the secretary. The stentorian voice had whispered in my ear: "Don't compromise. He'll drag others down with him...you can't rebuild this chapter with a 50/50 risk guy like him"

But at the end, it was another team member's choice, and he said, "This guy is a keeper" We gambled. This young man would be included. He would have a chance to change with us.

Now, watching him work, I was glad that we took the chance. There was something different about him--his demeanor, the way he held himself, his composure, I thought. He seemed more confident, or perhaps because he now held an office, he had developed more self-esteem.

Reports were completed. Old and new business were taken in turn. There was to be a serenade the following week for a campus sorority. Members were asked to dress in coat and tie. A public service project involving the cleanup of a local park had been scheduled. A recruitment event was set for the following week. The campus fraternity/sorority advisor would join them for dinner next Tuesday night.

The two prospective new members were introduced. Clearly, this was a recruitment event as well as a meeting. It was the essence of recruitment, I thought--make friends first, then allow them to see what we are doing and invite them to join us in these activities. You won't even have to extend a bid--they will want to be part of this. Judging by facial expressions and body language--both were leaning forward in their seats--it looked to me that they would join that night or soon thereafter.

The president took the gavel and passed it to his left. "Please share any comments you might have for the good of the brotherhood", he said.

The treasurer thanked everyone for paying bills on time. He said that he was learning how to be a "Pleasant jerk", and the room rocked with laughter. He thanked everyone for their sacrifices to keep the chapter going. He said that while times were tough, they were going to make it and they would have money to spare next year.

The gavel was passed from the front table to the members and others. One of the brothers turned in his chair and looked at me as he spoke. "Thanks for the reorganization" he said. "We knew things weren't right--we just didn't want to do the things that needed to be done"

He paused and looked around the room. A candle sputtered and the shadows jumped for a moment. "We may not look like much, but we've got each other and the alumni, and we're going to make it" he said with defiance in his voice. "This is what it's all about"

The absent brother entered the room, dropped his backpack on an empty chair and joined us. Someone asked him how he did and he smiled and gave us a thumbs up.

The alumnus members spoke. One talked about how the Fraternity had impacted his life in many positive ways. They were unique but familiar stories. I had heard them a thousand times, from banquet halls to receptions to conversations at 35,000 feet. But those are always a renewal of the reasons why we say that fraternity membership is for life.

Another alumnus--he looked familiar, but I couldn't place him--spoke in encouraging terms about the chapter.

"Fellas", he said, "I don't know much about our history, but I've got to believe that this is how Theta Chi got started way back in 1856--with just a brave few" He looked down at the gavel in his hands, which he was slowly twisting as he spoke. "I was opposed to this reorganization thing, but sometimes the toughest things are the best things. Just hang in there" His voice cracked. The only sound in the room was the hissing of the candles.

He looked up at the front table. "Well," he said, "I'm very proud of you guys and especially (the treasurer)" It suddenly occurred to me that his son was the treasurer--the same last name, the red hair--why hadn't I caught that before?

The prospective members spoke. They thanked everyone for being invited to the meeting. They said that they didn't know much about fraternity life but that they wanted to learn more. One asked, "How do I join?" and was startled by the burst of laughter. "We can help you with that", said the president.

The gavel was handed to me. I paused, trying to think of how to say what I was feeling. "Don't try to guild the lily", I thought, reaching back to my days as an assistant prosecuting attorney and the admonition regarding closing arguments.

"Gentlemen, we made eight excellent decisions last October, and the proof is here tonight. I've never been more proud to be a member of our Fraternity"

I stood and handed the gavel to the secretary, who accepted it without comment. He paused for a moment and looked down. He seemed to be struggling with what he wanted to say. Then, he looked up at us, his eyes filled with tears.

He said that he had joined Alcoholics Anonymous. He said that his life had changed. The room was absolutely silent as he proudly described how he had gone for 23 days without alcohol, how he had gotten back together with his girlfriend, how his class attendance and grades had improved. "Guys, I'll tell you, I don't miss it" he said in a choked voice. "I don't miss it at all" And then, "I love and respect all my brothers"

The president put a hand on the left shoulder of the secretary and quietly took the gavel from him. He surveyed the room and said, "This meeting of the _____ chapter is adjourned"

Everyone stood up. But no one wanted to leave. We talked. One of the alumnus members reached into a pocket and pulled out several dollars' worth of quarters. He left the room and returned a moment later with soft drinks from the machine in the kitchen. "Here's a toast to our chapter" he said, raising a Diet Pepsi. We all joined him.

The prospective new members stayed. The alumni stayed. I must have shaken hands with everyone two or three times. The energy in the room was palpable.

The chapter president offered to drive me to my hotel. We chatted about a number of things during the trip, but when he pulled up under the canopy at the entrance he turned to me and said, "Dave, I know you're busy--we really appreciated your visit, especially when it was just another chapter meeting--you've probably been to hundreds" He began to apologize for the lack of formality, for the small size of the membership, for the past problems of the chapter.

I gently cut him off. "No way", I said. I've been to hundreds of meetings, but never one like this one. This was not just another chapter meeting. Thanks for calling me and inviting me to attend"

As I entered the hotel, it occurred to me that if our largest, strongest, proudest chapters could have witnessed that chapter meeting that evening their members would have been challenged and humbled by eight young men with a vision of Fraternity so clear and defined and so uncompromised by pride, vanity, tradition and arrogance that a comparison with our founders was not only appropriate but inevitable.

It also occurred to me that as always, I had received much, much more than I had given. Again.

David Westol, J.D. Founder & Principal, Limberlost Consulting, Inc.

As readers may note, I wrote this in the mid-1990s. It was too long for my column in our magazine when I was CEO.